Can you see how much I love you? I am so scared to be feeling this way. I love you so incredibly much, but it hurts, because I feel vulnerable, because now I feel like I have this thing and you could take it away from me, you could leave, and I would be so hurt. It almost happened, you know, you remember, how we almost broke up. But we made it through, and I'm so glad. But I've had a taste of what it's like for you to leave me, and now I hurt so much, it's so much harder for me to love you. Now I've felt that pain and I am so scared that I might have to feel it again. I wish I could love you more fully, I wish it wasn't accompanied by this terror. I want to know if you love me as much as I love you. You say you do. You seem like you do. But it's so hard to believe, that I should be so lucky, that you would actually love me. It's so hard to believe that anyone could love the way that I love you. But it must be true, I want to believe that it is. Why does it have to hurt like this? Why am I so scared? Sometimes I wish I could just marry you right now. That we could go live together, somewhere.
Love always and forever,